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Floor Sir? Floor 13 please, and to hell with everyone else on the way.

16 March, 2006 16:42

Thanks Dane and Nate for this link. It looks like most elevators have an enabled (sometimes disabled) feature to transport you to the floor of your choosing without stopping in-between to pick up passengers also waiting for their ride.

The "express mode" is enabled by pressing both the DOOR CLOSE and the FLOOR LEVEL at the same time. The linked article above points out that the majority of elevators have this feature, but specify these as an absolute one way trip to the floor of your choice:

  • Otis elevators
  • Dover elevators
  • Most Desert Elevators

Although I have the itch to take a ride downtown and try this on any high rise building I can find, I am even more posessed for this reason:

I sometimes find myself waiting to ride the elevator to a high level floor. However, some stairway incapable traveler decided to take the elevator to the basement. Notified by the bright red signal pointing to the ground that the ride will first go down, and only then will it rise from the depths of hell, I ponder the possibility of hopping into one of these cages, proceed to enable the hack, and wonder (with an evil smile on my face), if I will first go up to floor 13, and then of course back down to the depts of all that is not known above ground.

So, I must try this as soon as possible. If I were to succeed, I will be pleased and satisfied for at least a few days, maybe even a week. This will include evil looks, grins, laughter, and un-controllable urges to grow red horns and possess any elevator passenger I might ride with.

[Technology]
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Main Entry: spew
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English spIwan; akin to Old High German spIwan to spit, Latin spuere, Greek ptyein intransitive verb
1 : VOMIT
2 : to come forth in a flood or gush
3 : to ooze out as if under pressure : EXUDE transitive verb
1 : VOMIT
2 : to send or cast forth with vigor or violence or in great quantity -- often used with out - spew-er noun
-- Merriam-Webster

Land where drunk cows swim and home to my daily hand