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How to Survive a Robot Uprising

25 January, 2006 09:04

Bruce Schneier listed a few ways to survive a robot uprising.

One of the ideas, "use uncommon words to suss out robots on the phone. robots do not know how pronounce supercalifragilisticexpealidocious".

Listed were several other possibilities, such as "choose a complex environment. waterfalls, street traffic, and places with lots of ambient noise confuse the robots", but this, and the others are not necessary givin the first provision.

Here is what you do: make a diplomatic phone call to the robot world mentor. Start an intelectual conversating convincing them of your surrender on there logical conditions (that will get there gears spinning and there lights glowing). Then all of a sudden start using really large words, such as supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. This will confuse the central robot unit, which in turn will compell him to repeat the word in asking the question "why did you say supercalifragilisticexpealidocious?". As we all know, they can not pronounce this and will have to spell it out letter by letter. Before the robot mentor finishes the word, continue asking questions and making statements with several sylabil words. After several questions and comments of that magnitude, the robot will still be working on de-compiling supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.

Now, this is the key, tape the entire conversation and play it in a loop. There is not enough robo-flops in the world that would help these tin machines. Using there robo proprietary bubble technology, they will continue to sift through the information in an endless and deadly loop of error.

Next, rid the world of all robo technology and exterminate the evil monkeys that live only to be served by robo technology.

Case closed, problem solved.

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Main Entry: spew
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English spIwan; akin to Old High German spIwan to spit, Latin spuere, Greek ptyein intransitive verb
1 : VOMIT
2 : to come forth in a flood or gush
3 : to ooze out as if under pressure : EXUDE transitive verb
1 : VOMIT
2 : to send or cast forth with vigor or violence or in great quantity -- often used with out - spew-er noun
-- Merriam-Webster

Land where drunk cows swim and home to my daily hand